http://www.topshelfblog.com/ Sat, 19 May 2012 01:19:21 GMT FeedCreator 1.8.0-dev (info@mypapit.net) http://www.topshelfblog.com/2012-articles/january/its-time-for-saying-goodbye.html
It was wonderful.  

Seriously, it was.  It was just what I needed.  I highly recommend giving yourself a little part of the season - a week, a couple of weeks, a month - where you just care a little bit less about the Sabres. The season is certainly long enough for it.  This was the first time I've felt truly comfortable in my fandom skin in quite a while, going back to last season really.  This month really clarified some things for me about how I'm taking in sports.  One of the things it clarified for me is that it's time for me to quit blogging here about the Sabres.  

I've really been struggling with this since I went back to school about a year and a half ago. Between a full class load and two part-time jobs, my time is really limited.  I can count on one hand the number of Sabres games I've seen in entirety this season.  The rest have been missed - some partially and many completely - because of my other commitments.  Every time I've started to shut things down before, something has come up that's made me push on a little longer.  A Blogger Summit with Ted Black?  Awesome!  Would I like to ride in a limo with a couple of Sabres?  Yes, I would, thanks!  Press box access?  Might be cool for a couple of nights, sure!  And sometimes it was more simple things: a really interesting and thought-provoking conversation about fighting in hockey, an unexpected and delightful email about something I'd written, or one of those rare games that just seems like perfection in a 60 minute package.  But this past month, I have to admit, was a relief.  It was a relief to let something go so I had a little more breathing room.  Something needed to go.  I love, love, love hockey, and I even love the ol' dumbass Sabres, but I just don't have the time, energy, or desire to spend as much time thinking and writing about them as I did when I first started writing here close to five years ago.  I've been beating myself up for a while about not watching enough and not writing enough and that's pretty darn silly.  Blogging is like sports.  If it's not fun, what's the point?  In this period of my life, I need to embrace a more casual fandom.  I've been afraid to do that for some reason, but it's time.

I was originally planning on celebrating the end of my blackout with a night in the press box.  Even after I decided I wasn't going to be continuing here, I thought it might be fun to do it anyway, a last hurrah, kind of a commentary on how far blogging has come since I started.  Ultimately, however, it didn't really feel like the right way to go out.  Top Shelf has never been about being legitimate or getting press access or anything like that.  I have nothing against those things.  I think a lot of us would agree that sports coverage in Buffalo is kind of stagnant.  New voices and points-of-views are more than welcome, and I'm happy the Sabres are encouraging that.  It's just not what I was ever about.  I've always wanted this blog to be a reflection of what it's like to be a fan.  Irrational love and loyalty to a player even when he sucks.  Irrational hatred and disgust for a player even when he doesn't suck.  The crazy joy of a game-winning goal and the staggering, dagger-like pain of a loss in overtime.  The hours spent arguing about everything, things that matter and things that don't matter. The annoyance with the guy in the press box who sometimes seems to have forgotten what it's like to feel everything deeply and sincerely, to live and die with a team. Ending my hockey blogging time spending the evening as one of them, suppressing all my reactions and emotions?  Gross.

When I first started Top Shelf, I wasn't very familiar with hockey or Buffalo.  It is not at all an exaggeration to say that falling in love with one helped me fall in love with the other.  In 2006, I realized how wonderful hockey can be and through that I realized how wonderful Buffalo can be. Perfect?  No.  Wonderful?  Oh, yes.  So many of my favorite memories of the last five years involve hanging out and watching and talking about hockey.  When I think about all the amazing people I've met through this blog - some of my favorite people in the world- it really does choke me up a little bit.  I'm so blessed.  I'm so thankful for all of you.  It would be a lie for me to say that I've been writing this blog all this time just for me - if it was just for me, I'd write it in a notebook and stick it in a drawer - but it does still boggle my mind a bit that anyone who isn't related to me has found anything I've written here to be even the least bit interesting or entertaining.  If you've ever commented on a post, or tweeted a response, or sent me an email, thank you. If you've just been quietly reading and enjoying, thank you.  I can't even tell you how much I've appreciated it.  You helped me find my place here.  You helped make Buffalo home.  You really did.  Sports are so incredibly powerful that way sometimes.  It's really amazing how something that doesn't really matter can matter so much.



I'm not going away completely.  I'm already thinking about a non-hockey blog, one where I can talk about whatever ol' thing I want without feeling the pressure to stick to any kind of timetable.  And I'll still be on Twitter, and I'm sure I'll still be railing about how we need more defensemen who play defense among other things.  After all, there's no going back now.  Buffalo and the Sabres are a part of me whether I like it or not.  

As the great Fozzie Bear once said, "Somehow I know, we'll meet again.  Not sure quite where and I don't know just when.  You're in my heart, so until then, it's time for saying goodbye."  

Let's go Buff-a-lo!]]> topshelfcookies@gmail.com (Heather) Mon, 09 Jan 2012 20:11:32 GMT http://www.topshelfblog.com/2012-articles/january/its-time-for-saying-goodbye.html http://www.topshelfblog.com/2011-articles/november/you-want-to-tempt-the-wrath-of-the-whatever-from-high-atop-the-thing.html what I was reading than what I was watching.  And then when the game was over, I put on a TNT movie I'd recorded and didn't give the Sabres game a second thought. (The movie is Scott Turow's Innocent and so far it's, well, a TNT movie.  I read the book a couple of years ago, but really I'm watching because Richard Schiff, who played my sweet, funny Toby Ziegler on The West Wing is in it.  And he's good.  I love him.  He's one of the most appealing and charismatic not-that-good-looking guys ever.  Like Charles Bronson.  Or Tommy Lee Jones.)  I have to say, it was kind of nice to 1) turn off the part of my brain that cares that much about the Sabres and 2) not care what everyone else thought about the Sabres.  While I definitely can't do this forever, I am enjoying it in the short-term.

Anyway, even if the Sabres COMPLETELY sucked ass tonight - and it's possible because like I said, I wouldn't have noticed - I'm not sure I really have it in me to panic at this point.  It's the end of November.  We're 24 games in.  The team was probably going to need some time to gel anyway, especially on the back end, and that process has been interrupted by of the number of injuries in the last couple of weeks.  I've never been a big fan of the "Injuries aren't an excuse!" school of thought because sometimes injuries ARE an excuse.  The Sabres have 27 points.  The best team in the league has 32 points with one more game played.  That's not terrible especially for a team that again, has had 8 to 9 regulars out in the last couple of games including the starting goalie.  Is the team perfect?  No.  Are they a total disaster beyond all hope of redemption?  Probably not.

Some small picture enjoyment: Zack Kassian's first NHL fight and Brayden McNabb hitting the hell out of people.  Even more enjoyable than those things were Rob Ray's reaction to Kassian's fight and Mike Robitaille's reaction to some of McNabb's hits.  Seriously, how cute were those two?  You'd think they'd died and gone to hockey heaven.  I think Roby would have hugged McNabb had he walked across the set after the highlights.  Also, JOCHEN HECHT IS A GERMAN SCORING MACHINE!  Jochen scoring means my world is pretty a-okay.  (Take that, all you, WHO NEEDS JOCEHN HECHT ANYWAY? people!  TAKE THAT!)

(I spent 45 minutes watching clips of The West Wing on YouTube.  I could have easily gone all night.)

 ]]> topshelfcookies@gmail.com (Heather) Wed, 30 Nov 2011 05:42:59 GMT http://www.topshelfblog.com/2011-articles/november/you-want-to-tempt-the-wrath-of-the-whatever-from-high-atop-the-thing.html http://www.topshelfblog.com/2011-articles/november/sometimes-hockey-is-awesome.html
Last night, a few minutes into the second, I decided I wasn't in the mood for the Sabres.  I went upstairs, turned on some Christmas music, and curled up with my Kindle.  It was hours before I knew Robyn Regehr got injured.  (I found out via Facebook.)  Tonight, I had no idea Stafford - or any mysterious forward - was out until I came down to watch the game, a few minutes into things.   I had not one clue who Paul Szczechura was or where he came from.  (Proving this point, I orignally typed his name here as "Jason Szczechura.")  (One of the highlights of the game was my brother-in-law calling during the second just to ask, "Who the heck is 58?)  And you know what?  Not only is the lack of information not that big of a deal, it's kind of fun.  Again, I'm sure when the year is up and this experiment is over, I'll go back to taking in a lot of stuff, but it's a nice reminder to myself that I don't have to have every piece of info RIGHT AWAY AS SOON AS IT BREAKS.  I probably could stand to cut back on my Internet intake.

-- This game was hi-larious.  Between the call-ups in the last couple of weeks (Tropp, Brennan, Kassian) and the numbers that, for whatever just won't stick in my head without a few seconds thought (Adam, Ellis), I generally had no idea who was on the ice.  Things were so mixed up that I was seeing 10 and thinking "Hank!" which I'd finally stopped doing.  A couple of people suggested that one of the best things to do to remind yourself why you love hockey is to go see an AHL game. We all kind of did that tonight and it was a hoot and a half.  

Let me tell you, there is nothing better for a hockey-stressed soul than seeing babies score their first NHL goals.  I've said this before, but there is something so sweet about them when they're still young enough and inexperienced enough that they're incapable of hiding their emotions.  I also love how even the veterans get into the spirit, sometimes seeming as happy as the goal-scorer.  I think it's been even funnier because between T.J. Brennan's skeevy mustache and Zack Kassian's lack of teeth and crazy hair, well, those are babies that only a mother can love.  And love 'em I do.  This is exactly the kind of small picture within in the big picture I was rambling about a few posts ago.



-- In light of all the (justified) complaining about how soft the Sabres are, it's interesting to see some of the kids up.  Kassian and McNabb especially are BIG boys, and they don't seem to have a problem throwing some of that size around.  I don't need them to be fighters - I don't really care for straight up fighting that much - but I don't think anyone would argue that the Sabres don't need to be a little meaner.  Ted Black intimated that there's a three-year plan of some sort in place, and thinking down the road, keeping a few of the current veterans, mixing in some of these kids... this could be a very interesting team.  I'm not like, declaring them future Cup winners or anything, but looking at the size in Rochester, it seems that management is at least aware of the weaknesses of the current squad.  Whether the patience pays off, we'll see, but color me intrigued.

-- Is Chewie the best nickname ever?  If your nickname is Chewie, aren't you obligated to rip an opponent's arm off after every loss?  And celebrate every win by waving your arms over your head and letting loose your best Chewie roar?

-- More small picture: Jochen Hecht scoring on a shorthanded breakaway with Alexander Ovechkin chasing?  Does it get any more delightful than that?  I posted this bit about Sabres who I'm thankful for during the Blue Jackets game which was poor timing to say the least.  It might be more appropriate to read it now, especially that last part.  I love Jochen Hecht.

-- The Caps are super, super bad.  I mean, wow are they bad.  I knew they were struggling but wow.  Whew.  It's easy to throw around "coach-killing" when a team is struggling so much but that reaaaaally looked like some first-rate coach-killing

-- Boy, Ian McKellan was really, really wonderful in the Lord of the Rings movies, wasn't he?  Gandalf is not my favorite character (Samwise in a landslide, Boromir a pretty solid second) so I kind of took him for granted the first time around.  There are moments though when he gets such a softness and warmth in his eyes.  Just really great stuff.  (Sorry, I went straight from the game to a LotR marathon so that's been on my mind.)  (In another life, I was a hobbit.)

 ]]> topshelfcookies@gmail.com (Heather) Sun, 27 Nov 2011 03:08:41 GMT http://www.topshelfblog.com/2011-articles/november/sometimes-hockey-is-awesome.html http://www.topshelfblog.com/2011-articles/november/thank-you-sabres.html
I'm thankful for all the replies I got to the last post, and I'm thankful that everyone received it in the way I meant it.  After I posted it, I was a little concerned that it came across as anti-Twitter, and that certainly wasn't my intention.  I love Twitter.  I just got in too far and let it (and other things) kind of overtake my own opinions and feelings.  I said this in the comments in case you didn't read them, but I'm sure I'll be back.  I think cutting back this month will give me an idea of what I really enjoy and what I'm doing because everyone else is doing it and who I really enjoy and who I'm listening to because they're there.

Anyway, I meant to put this up yesterday, and I completely forgot.  In the spirit of Thanksgiving, here are three Sabres who I'm really thankful for right now.

1. Ryan Miller

Ryan Miller's taken a ton of crap this season.  I think the criticism of his play is more than fair.  It probably should have started more intensely last season.  I think the criticism of his off-ice demeanor is less fair.  Or maybe it's fair and it just doesn't bother me that much.  I'd like for him to occasionally take more direct blame - I feel like he used to be better at that - but the thing I really love about Ryan is that he's an open book, baby.  If he's tired, it shows.  If he's cranky, it shows.  If he's proud, it shows.  If he's happy, it shows.  If he's upset, it shows.  He gets annoyed with the media.  I would too.  Yes, I realize it's part of his job to stand there and answer questions.  It doesn't mean it's fun and it doesn't mean it never gets tedious.  He probably gets annoyed with fans.  I would too.  Yes, dealing with us and how we feel is part of his job.  It doesn't mean it's not occasionally difficult to get booed when you're trying your best or when you're as frustrated as fans are.  

How many times do we complain that athletes are always giving us pat answer?  (Easy to do when they're getting asked the same questions over and over and over.)  All the time.  But when a guy gives an honest answer, we hate that too.  Ryan does not give pat answers.  That means that sometimes his answers are difficult or annoying and occasionally even uncomfortatable. But it also means that sometimes they're awesome, and funny, and thoughtful.  I love the fact that Ryan hasn't hidden who he is behind a wall of three word answers.  He's still a real person.  That's pretty unusual for a pro athlete of his stature.  



2. Jason Pominville

For most of his time in Buffalo, I've been pretty neutral on ol' Jason Pominville.  I didn't particularly love him, I didn't particularly hate him.  I thought the people in both of those camps were a little off their rocker.  I think part of that is the way he plays: hard-working, unspectacular, dependable. (Although usually I love those guys - see below - so I have no idea why Pommers stayed under my radar.)  I think part of it his personality: cute, sweet, but hidden behind those pat answers I talked about just a couple of paragraphs ago.  Nice guy, didn't seem particularly deep or interesting.

By the end of last season, I'd completely flipped on him.  I have no idea when Jason Pominville became the heart of this team, but it's pretty clear that he did.  I was there the night he got slammed into the boards toward the beginning of last season.  The mood in the arena completely changed, and the fans were not the only ones affected.  The team looked devastated, shaken up and out of it. They never shook that the rest of the night.  The same thing happened when Pommers got hurt in the playoffs.  I think the injury in the playoffs also highlighted how important his steady play is. Losing him and Tim Connolly killed the penalty kill and that's still an undermentioned difference in that series, I think.  Like that, the Flyers went from struggling to score on the power play to scoring on the power play pretty easily.   And again, the team's focus and stability seemed tied to Pommers. When things are right with him, things are right with the team.  When things are off with him, things are off with everyone.  I'm not the least bit surprised he's the one wearing the C.  He's like, a real grown-up now.  


3. Jochen Hecht

When you're a kid, there are players who just make you happy.  I don't know what changes when we're adults - we see too much, we become too focused on outcome, we're just not as innocent.  I don't know, it just seems to happen less.  But for reasons I can't entirely explain, Jochen Hecht just makes me happy. I like the way he plays.  There is nothing spectacular about it.  He's very good at certain aspects of the game - especially on the defensive side - but other parts of his game are very workman-like.  But more importantly, I like him.  I just do.  Something about him tickles me.  He's all bashful and mumbly.  He does all his interviews while mostly looking at the ground.  Those few times he scored in the shootout, he skated off the ice as quickly as he could, like he was afraid they'd change their mind and take the goals away.  When he's really, really excited, maaaybe a half smile creeps across his face.  He gets to me.

Every team needs a Jochen Hecht.  I've jokingly told Kate a few times in the last few months, "Just wait until Jochen gets back!" but I kind of meant it a little bit too.  When he's hurt or not playing well, I think it really hurts the team and I think his absence is always underrated.  I'll tell you that Jay McKee was my first real favorite Sabre but he was on his way out as I was really falling in love with hockey. When I think back on my first handful of years as a real fan, I'll think of the three players that I unabashedly loved no matter how they played or how they struggled: Henrik Tallinder, Toni Lydman, and Jochen Hecht.  Jochen's the last man standing, and I don't know how much longer he'll be around.  I'm going to enjoy him while I can.  I'm really thankful he's back and looking good.  I got your back, Yo-Yo.]]> topshelfcookies@gmail.com (Heather) Fri, 25 Nov 2011 23:16:06 GMT http://www.topshelfblog.com/2011-articles/november/thank-you-sabres.html http://www.topshelfblog.com/2011-articles/november/the-state-of-top-shelf.html

I wrote just a few weeks ago, that one of the hardest things about being a Pirates fan in Alabama was that there was no one around to talk Pirates with.  This season I'm feeling like maybe one of the best things about being a Pirates fan in Alabama was that there was no one around to talk Pirates with.  I'll try to explain, but I admit so far it's made more sense in my head than it has when I've tried to put it into words.  

There are awesome things about living in the midst of Sabres fans, OBVIOUSLY.  It's nice to roll into my Educational Psychology class and spend five or ten minutes talking to my professor and a few other students about the Sabres and the last few games.  It's fun to relive the highlights and complain about the lowlights.  When the Sabres are really humming, there's definitely an energy across the area that's palpable and hard to resist.  It's genuinely exciting.

But the energy seems... off this season.  I'm not sure exactly what it is.  I mean, the team definitely has weaknesses.  I'm not denying that at all.  But they're in second place in the Eastern Conference and tied for fifth place overall.  They're in a much better place than they were at this point last season, and there are still pieces of the puzzle that haven't quite come together, pairings and lines that might gel more, players who might produce more.  When I looked at the standings a couple of weeks ago and realized where the Sabres were, I reloaded the page and looked again.  The conversation around the team has just not reflected that at all.  And this was before the Bruins game which obviously just amped the conversation up to a whole new level of shrillness.

After a couple of interesting conversations with Mike Harrington and Kate (of The Willful Caboose, of course), I do think part of it is the raised expectations around the Sabres.  Terry Pegula, someone who cares about hockey, bought the team.  He loudly and forcefully stated that his goal was to win a Stanley Cup.  More than one Stanley Cup actually. He poured all kinds of money into the arena in the offseason and he freed up the purse strings and let Darcy Regier and team bring in some different talent.  And then the team started really well in Europe and a lot of us got excited, maybe carried away.  I did.  I fully admit that.  But now that the team has come down to earth some and some weaknesses are showing and some players are struggling, the attitude has turned hard. Really, really hard.  

The worst thing about being a Pirates fan the last oh, 19 years, has been going into the season knowing that there was no way - zero, nada, nothing, zilch - the Pirates were going to win a championship.  There was no reason to even look at the big picture of a season.  The big picture was beyond reach.  But the best thing about being a Pirates fan has been learning how to appreciate the small picture.  Sometimes the picture was very, very small - an amazing diving catch in centerfield for example - but sometimes it was a little bigger.  A string of great starts from a slapdash rotation. The sudden appearance of genuinely good, young talent.  Upsetting a team trying to get into the playoffs.  A solid winning streak deep in the season.   A player finally putting everything together and becoming really fun to watch.  You know those fans who aren't happy with anything short of a championship?  I think we all do.  Well, I hate those guys.  I do not want to be that fan.  The bulk of a professional sports season is the regular season.  Yes, the playoffs are more important.  Yes, championships are validating in a number of ways.  But a sports fan who is so focused on the end game that he stops being able to enjoy the steps along the way is going to spend most of his life being a pretty darn unhappy sports fan.

We seem really, really unhappy.  I guess that's the bottom line.  I think sports are a fantastic release for real emotions.  Sometimes when fans boo, it's just because it feels good to boo.  I can't boo my boss or my professor or my husband, but dang it, I can boo the Sabres.  But there's still kind of a silliness to sports unhappiness if that makes sense.  What the Sabres do ultimately doesn't REALLY matter.  If they suck, they suck.  Pirates fan here, right?  I mean, life goes on.  But this season, this is something different and it's not for me.  I don't want to be personally affronted that Paul Gaustad didn't want to get his ass kicked by Milan Lucic.  I don't want to say mean things about Ryan Miller's wife.  I don't want to have a long, serious conversation about what moved Ryan or Lindy Ruff to swear in a press conference.  I don't want to get up in the morning, cranky and pissy, because the Sabres lost the night before, and I don't want to come to the next game cranky and pissy because they lost the previous one.  I don't want any of that.  That's not fun and if it's not fun, really, what is the point?  Sports are supposed to be fun.  Hockey is supposed to be fun.  

And while there is a lot wrong with this season so far, there's some good stuff too and I don't want to be so focused on the big picture that I lose sight of the small picture.  I don't want to be so upset that Jason Pominville didn't beat up Lucic (seriously?) that I miss the fact that he's playing probably the best hockey of his career.  I don't want to be so focused on Ville Leino's struggles that I overlook Thomas Vanek continuing his growth into a really special player.  I don't want to be so pissed off at Ryan Miller that I don't enjoy how fun Jhonas Enroth is to watch scurrying across the crease.  I don't want to be so frustrated with Tyler Myers that I can't enjoy it when he suddenly springs for two goals.  I want to take pleasure in how fun Derek Roy can be when he's playing like he cares, I want to admire the steadiness and maturity of Robyn Regehr, I want to appreciate the mostly underappreciated play of Andrej Sekera.  I want to shrug off a bad game like it doesn't really matter, and I want to come to the next game fresh and with the belief that hey, you never know, especially with a team that does have a lot of talent.  

I really think that, for me, the amount of noise surrounding the Sabres has become a detriment to my personal enjoyment.  It was hard being a Pirates fan before the advent of satellite dishes and the Internet because I really was an island.  I didn't know anything outside of the very basics of a season.  I didn't hear what the players and coaches were saying all the time and I certainly didn't see media and fan response to those interviews.  Sometimes that was no fun.  But now, with the Sabres, things are so far the other way.  I'm bombarded with quotes and interviews and the reaction is endless and nitpicky.  Media and fans - and I'm including myself here, just to be clear - rush to examine everything in the smallest detail, looking for the deeper meaning in everything, desperate to say something that someone hasn't already said. And if there's not really anything to discuss, well, dang it, we'll find something to discuss.  Because God forbid we go 24 hours without a new topic to dissect and to pontificate about.  The news cycle is out of control. Between talk radio, and the Internet, and Twitter, I think we feel like we have to be talking about something new all the time.  I know I've felt that pressure as a blogger and that's not even a real job for me.  It's just... it's exhausting.  I can feel myself sinking into it, my own opinions changing or getting drowned out with everyone else's, my own enjoyment of the team or a game deflating with other's sometimes deserved but seemingly endless criticism.  

After discussing this with Kate during and after the Devils game last week, I came to a realization.  I can turn off the noise.  Not all of it but a lot of it.  So I'm going to make some changes.  I wasn't going to do this until December 1st, but I've decided that for the sake of my sanity, it might be best to take action before the Boston game on Wednesday.  Starting on Monday 11/21, I'll be doing the following things through the end of 2011:

1) I will not be reading the Buffalo News sport section or listening to WGR.  This one's pretty easy.  I actually don't do a lot of either thing to begin with.  I would limit it to not reading the columnists since that's really where my angst usually comes from, but I know me, if I look at the paper at all, I'll wander over that way.  For the record, this will include all TBN coverage related to the Sabres so no Sabres Edge, no videos, no chats.

2) I will not be watching any Sabres TV coverage except what's contained in the actual game broadcasts. Again, not that hard since I rarely watch the local news or ESPN.  I will continue to watch On the Fly since it's mostly not Sabres and doesn't really include any kind of editorializing, just highlights.  I'll also probably leave Sabres.com interviews available.  I don't watch them very much, but I can watch them and take away what I want which is really what I'm concerned with.

3) I will unfollow all Sabres-related journalists on Twitter.  Sorry, guys this is where a lot of the noise comes from.  So Mike Harrington, Jerry Sullivan, John Vogl, Bill Hoppe, Sabres Dot Com folks, various WGR guys? For a month at least, you're gone.

4) On game days, starting two hours before puck drop and continuing until the following morning, I will stay off Twitter. This is the biggie.  I really debated a full-on Twitter ban but I get too much non-Sabres related stuff via Twitter to do that.  Plus, I like Twitter.  I think trying to commit myself to a full 30 day or so ban would be setting myself up for failure.  

And finally:

5) I will unfollow anyone who consistently stresses me out about the Sabres.  I really put in #4 for this reason - because let's face it, Twitter is a disaster post-loss with half my timeline overreacting and the other half overreacting to the first half's overreaction - so I think avoiding that stretch of time will eliminate the need for this step.  But it's here if I need it.

I really have no idea what will come of this, but I'm not going to lie, I'm kind of looking forward to just having my thoughts about the Sabres even if they are more surface thoughts than in the past which they might be considering how little time I have in my schedule for actually watching hockey right now.  Some of you probably consider this kind of like burying one's head in the sand and avoiding the negative and to you I'd say, well, yeah.  Totally.  Right now I'm not concerned with being an informed fan so much as being a happy fan.  And if being a happy fan means blocking out the stuff that makes me feel bad, even when it's true, that's what I'm going to do.  I just don't see the need to stress out as much as some of us are about a bunch of adults skating around after a rubber puck.  I think one of the reasons that kids are the happiest fans is because they really don't give a crap about all the surrounding stuff that adults get stuck on, you know?  I want to continue to love hockey and if that means taking a few steps back, I'm cool with that.

I also have no idea what this will mean for blogging.  If I don't see the game AND I don't participate in much conversation about it, that's probably going to leave me without much to say.  Or maybe I'll find that not feeling so drained by participating in everyone's conversation will leave me with more to say.  I don't know.  All I know is that I want hockey and the Sabres to be more fun than it is right now and there's really no reason that they shouldn't be.  This is my small effort to take back the fun. We'll see what happens.
 ]]> topshelfcookies@gmail.com (Heather) Mon, 21 Nov 2011 03:52:33 GMT http://www.topshelfblog.com/2011-articles/november/the-state-of-top-shelf.html http://www.topshelfblog.com/2011-articles/november/terry-pegula-and-penn-state.html
I will talk about the column that Bucky Gleason wrote today about Terry Pegula's statement.  The whole column is right here, but here's the part that really jumped out at me:

Pegula could have called a news conference or, if that wasn't possible, set up a conference call. The organization has said many times it wants to be more transparent with open lines of communication. Presumably, it meant in good times and bad.

His prepared statement addressed certain issues, but I'm not sure it was the right message. It wasn't what I expected from someone known for his human touch and strong leadership. Leaders immediately stand up in the face of turmoil and speak against what they perceive as wrongdoing or, in this case, much worse.

That seems terribly unfair to me.  I doubt that when Pegula promised transparency and open communication that he was talking about his entire life.  If this had anything to do with something going on in the Sabres organization, then yes, I would absolutely hope to hear from him and if it was something this horrific I would want his words to be swift and forceful.  But this?  Maybe I'm in the minority because I wasn't really clamoring for Pegula to comment in the first place, but this is not something that I think he has to explain or justify or open up to us if he doesn't want to.  It doesn't have anything to do with his relationship with Sabres fans.

I think I also have a problem with the implication that leadership is always fast and loud.  That's not necessarily true.  I don't know Pegula obviously, but he seems like a man who likes to examine things and think them over.  He certainly seems like a soft-spoken guy.  Bucky acknowledges earlier in the column that Pegula was probably waiting for details, waiting to see how the school reacted, taking time to sort out his own emotions before he made any kind of public statement.  But then Bucky turns around and suggests that while all of the above things make perfect sense, it was the wrong way to react?  I don't know.  To me those things - slowing down, thinking - are also things that leaders do.  There's so much noise out there around this already.  Do we really need one more angry voice in the crowd, rushing to judge everyone and everything? What does that accomplish for us, for Penn State, for Pegula, or for anyone involved?  I thought Pegula's statement was straight-forward and honest, and that's just fine with me.





]]> topshelfcookies@gmail.com (Heather) Fri, 11 Nov 2011 07:42:45 GMT http://www.topshelfblog.com/2011-articles/november/terry-pegula-and-penn-state.html http://www.topshelfblog.com/2011-articles/november/libraries.html
                                          The medicine chest of the soul.
                       — Inscription over the door of the Library at Thebes.

As an adult, I'm still a loyal library user.  A few weeks back, there was a lot of excitement in my Twitter feed and on Facebook about a mail order book rental service.  A Facebook friend commented, "It's like Netflix for books!" to which I responded, "It's the library only not free."  For those WNYers living under a rock, there's a pretty heated election for Erie County Executive going on right now.  Libraries, how they should be funded and how much they should be funded, have been a fairly large issue.  To me, it's a no-brainer which is why I've been stunned - truly stunned - at how much commentary I've seen along the lines of, "Well, who even needs libraries anymore?"  I... just... what?!

Libraries are amazing resources in difficult economic times.  When I made the decision to go back to school, we knew it was going to make money, which was already tight, even tighter.  Our entertainment options are virtually unchanged, however, because of the library.  We get books there, yes.  But we also dropped Netflix and get our movies there.  We dropped our magazine subscriptions and get them there.  We get CDs there.  When I blew through The West Wing last summer, that was courtesy of the library.  Occasionally we have to wait for popular new releases, but we had to do that with Netflix too.  AND we had to pay them money.  Occasionally, we have to wait while the library moves materials we want from another branch to the one near us, but hey, the library will TOTALLY move things from one branch to another just because I want them to.  And if I'm being honest, as tough as our situation seems sometimes, I know that Mark and I are in much better shape than a lot of people in the area are right now.  

Which is why I'm not sure the real value of libraries is even about me.  As those who have been reading this blog for a while know, before I went back to school full-time, I worked as a classroom aide at a school for kids with emotional and behavioral disorders.  Most of them were from lower income families, many of them had parents who had little education, if any, beyond high school.  The school was within easy walking distance of a local library.  One year, we took the kids down there, got them all their own library cards, and took them to the library every couple of weeks.  The first time we did this was super eye-opening.  One of my favorite kids seemed to not really understand the concept.  "Heather," he said, "what do I do?"  "Pick a book, any book!"  "ANY book?"  "Yep."  "It's free?"  "Yep."  "They're ALL free?"  "Yes!"  Libraries are about those kids.  There is far too much research showing that kids' literacy skills are impacted by how much access and exposure they have to books to leave that to chance, to economics, to personal situations.  Single parents, unemployed parents, low income families, they should all have the ability to surround their children with books even if they can't afford to buy them.  Children who don't have any control over the decisions the adults in their lives make should have the ability to surround themselves with books.

    Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.  Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
                                                                                                - Groucho Marx

I can tell you, from that same job, that there's also a huge digital divide developing between classes, one that's going to absolutely cripple kids who are already living in the most unstable neighborhoods and going to the most underfunded schools, often with the least experienced teachers.  It's hard for most of us to imagine, but there are many, many families in the world who don't have computers at home and don't have Internet access, and that really impacts a person's computer skills.  Do you know how much there is out there for kids or adults who don't have good computer skills? I couldn't even get my part-time job at Wegmans without them because the entire job application process - as it is for many companies now - is online.   The library is one of the few places addressing that divide and doing it, again, for free, by providing computers, Internet access, and regular classes on how to use both to anyone who shows up.  I've seen many a librarian patiently explain to an adult how to do things like do a Google search and print a document.  As much as some of us seem to want to believe that everyone who is unemployed or on welfare is that way because they're lazy, there are a lot of people out there who want to better themselves and just don't know how.  Libraries are at least attempting to fill that gap.

The thing that I've found most surprising in the library discussion is how many people have said or written, "Well, gosh, I haven't set foot in a library in X number of years," and then used that to justify cutting funds or closing systems down.  That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.  Public services don't become luxuries just because YOU don't need them or use them.   It wouldn't kill us to occasionally look outside the bubble of our own lives.  If you have any doubt about whether people today use libraries, drive to the Kenmore Library on a Saturday afternoon.  I've never been there and not seen it packed - parents with young children, teenagers, senior citizens.  Country-wide, library use is up from last year and I can't imagine it not continuing to increase as wallets get tighter. A quick look at Buffalo & Erie County Library's schedule of events for November shows the following: numerous computer training classes, guest speakers in a series called "Imagining Buffalo in the 21st Century," preschool story time, a program in which elementary-aged students do science experiments with teen mentors, book clubs for pretty much every age, and music talks with members of the Buffalo Philharmonic Orchestra.  And that's not including other things like training in writing resumes and taking job interviews, adult literacy tutoring, and assistance with things like tax forms. And again, it's all free.  I cannot stress that enough.  Completely and totally free.  

A library book...is not, then, an article of mere consumption but fairly of capital, and often in the case of professional men, setting out in life, is their only capital.
                                                                                           -- Thomas Jefferson

I think if anyone should appreciate public libraries, it's politicians, those who claim to be proud of and inspired by the ideals of the United States.  We like to say that people in the U.S. can raise themselves out of any circumstances if they're only willing to work hard enough, but the truth is, hard work alone isn't always enough.  Even the hardest-working and most ambitious need help and guidance, the kind of help and guidance that those of us at the top of the socioeconomic ladder too often take for granted.  Everyone should have access to the same information, even if they don't have computers or e-readers or Internet access of their own.  We all benefit from an informed and educated community.  Public ibraries are one of last truly democratic institutions, one of the few places where, regardless of age, gender, race, ethnicity, religion, education level, or socioeconomic status, people can walk in and have access to exactly the same resources and exactly the same assistance.  I love that about libraries.  If that makes me idealistic, well, there are certainly worse things to be.

If there are other issues involved in the County Executive race that you feel are more important, that's certainly your prerogative.  I understand that different things strike different people in different ways.  But don't make the mistake of thinking that libraries are an unused and irrelevant relic of the past.  Don't let someone like Chris Collins, who has admitted he doesn't use libaries, tell you that. It's simply not true.

Whatever the cost of our libraries, the price is cheap compared to that of an ignorant nation.
                                                                                         -- Walter Cronkite

 ]]> topshelfcookies@gmail.com (Heather) Sun, 06 Nov 2011 20:50:56 GMT http://www.topshelfblog.com/2011-articles/november/libraries.html http://www.topshelfblog.com/2011-articles/november/regehr-smash.html
 
(This photo was taken by my buddy Schnookie from the awesome, awesome seats we sat in - along with Kate and Schookie's sister, Pookie - for the Columbus game.  Thanks for letting me borrow it!) ]]> topshelfcookies@gmail.com (Heather) Sun, 06 Nov 2011 04:25:35 GMT http://www.topshelfblog.com/2011-articles/november/regehr-smash.html http://www.topshelfblog.com/2011-articles/november/ryan-miller-booing-and-winning.html Joe's thoughts - I want to clarify that I have no desire to see Ryan Miller traded, and I don't even think he should suddenly lose his starting spot. I would like him to play better, however, and I would like him to maybe occasionally just say, "Hey, I sucked" instead of being all prickly and defensive.  I think some people are way too hard on him, but I think some people are way too easy on him. Thomas Vanek, Derek Roy, Jason Pominville, all those guys have taken more than their fair share of abuse over the years. Ryan can suck it up and take some lumps too.

After the Philadelphia game there was a lot of discussion in my Twitter feed about booing and by "discussion" I mean people criticizing fans for booing. I just don't get that. I'm not a big booer myself. If I'm at a game where people start booing I'll often give a small, short boo and and an "eh, get outta here" wave of my hands. But if others want to boo, boo away, man. There are only so many ways we have to make our feelings known to players and coaches, you know? Mike Schopp always talks about people being so angry all the time, but to me, booing isn't necessarily anger. Sometimes it is, but sometimes it's disappointment, sometimes it's frustration, sometimes it's disagreement. It's just hard to express those things in a game environment. You can't simultaneously yell, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME? AFTER LOSING TO FREAKING FLORIDA YOU'RE GOING TO GIVE UP TWO GOALS IN WHAT FEELS LIKE 45 SECONDS?" so you boo. You can't yell, "I PAY LOTS OF MONEY FOR THIS EXPERIENCE AND I WOULD LIKE TO HAVE A DECENT CHANCE AT SEEING A WIN!" so you boo. I think the booing in that game was about a lot more than just Ryan Miller. For the last three or four years, these guys have been, for whatever reason, incapable of playing consistently good hockey in Buffalo. That means that the home crowd is seeing the worst efforts and in some cases, we're talking REALLY bad losses. I'm sorry, that freaking blows. I go to three or four games a year, and that blows. If I dropped thousands of dollars on season tickets and watched loss after loss after loss - especially when those losses are then followed by the same awful platitudes about PRESSING TOO MUCH and TRYING TO HARD FOR THE HOME CROWD - I'd be feeling a little surly too. You can't demand that a crowd be engaged when things are going well and then shut off its emotions when things aren't going well. The flip side of being irrationally excited and proud when a team or player is doing well is being irrationally upset and annoyed when they're not. I think booing can actually be a pretty fun emotional release, but I can at least understand not liking the idea of it.  What I can't understand is any fan - or journalist, or talk show host, or ANYONE - telling another fan that he or she is doing it wrong. There's no right way to be a fan.

At any rate, I think tonight is all any of us want - a simple, straight-forward effort which leads to the occasional win.  Drew Stafford acting very serious while wearing a golden helmet helps.

More in-depth thoughts tomorrow night.  Maybe. ]]> topshelfcookies@gmail.com (Heather) Sat, 05 Nov 2011 02:55:00 GMT http://www.topshelfblog.com/2011-articles/november/ryan-miller-booing-and-winning.html http://www.topshelfblog.com/2011-articles/november/okay-maybe-there-is-a-goalie-controversy.html
Sitting here, it's kind of weird.  I feel like I have SO much to say about the Sabres but I also feel like I have no idea WHAT to say.  I feel like it's still way too early to panic or jump to any conclusions but I also feel like we're all going to be really let down this season.  I feel like in the long run, the team will be just fine and I'll mostly enjoy them but I also feel like I want to walk down the line and punch everyone in the nose.  (Okay, Vanek, Pominville, Regehr, Sekera, and Adam are excused.)  I am, in a word, conflicted.

Below is the latest podcast that Joe and I recorded (featuring special guest start Dave Davis of The Sabres Observer who was awesome.)  In it, we talked about the goalie "controversy" and whether it was really a controversy among fans or something that's kind of been started or exacerbated by the media.  We agreed that neither of us was particularly eager to see Jhonas Enroth play more and no real people we know felt like that.  And just like that, I miiiiiight feel differently.

Ryan Miller feels wrong, doesn't he?  Am I off-base?  I'm not going to blame it on his poor, beleaguered wife (correaltion does not equal causation), but he doesn't seem to be completely in on hockey which might be my biggest surprise so far this season.  I'm in the camp that thinks he wasn't particularly good last season.  At times he hurt the team more than he helped and even in the playoffs he flipped between being awesome and being awful, with little in-between.  But I also know he was hurt and that even little injuries can really nag at and affect a goalie for a long period of time. There were a lot of unknowns coming into this season - How would Ville Leino do at center?  How would the new defense gel?  - but the one thing I knew for SURE was that Miller would come back, ready and raring to go.  He had to know that he wasn't good enough last season, and it just seemed very him to use that as motivation.  I totally saw him having an awesome bounceback season.  I'm... concerned.

Miller is a complicated piece of the puzzle.  Goalie is such an important position that a coach almost has to be willing to go with the goalie that's playing well.  If it seems clear that a goalie is just having one of those years, why drag down the whole team with him?  You can roll a struggling forward or d-man out there without him hurting the team TOO much, depending on the talent around him, of course, but a struggling goalie can sink the ship.  However, Miller was such a central piece of the team's psyche that it wasn't as easy to pull him out.  It was his team really.  Joe and I talked about this last season and Tim Thomas and the Bruins, and I argued that Miller had a very different role on the team than Thomas had on the Bruins.  Even if he wasn't playing well, Miller was the heart of the team.  It's hard to healthy scratch the heart.  I'm not sure I'd really say that's true anymore though. I'll probably blog about this more at some point this month, but in the last couple of years I think Jason Pominville has really become the beating heart of the team and Vanek has shown himself more capable of carrying the team when needed.  Maybe now you can scratch Miller for a handful of games and tell him to get his head together without freaking out the rest of the team too much.  I don't know.  It's very perplexing.

Okay, here's the podcast.  Thanks again to Dave for joining us.  Check him out at The Sabres Observer over at Kukla's Korner and follow him on Twitter at @DaveDavisHockey. 

  ]]> topshelfcookies@gmail.com (Heather) Thu, 03 Nov 2011 04:03:44 GMT http://www.topshelfblog.com/2011-articles/november/okay-maybe-there-is-a-goalie-controversy.html